Those damn Converse

So uh...what? Let me start off by saying absolute props to J.Rog. You BASOB. You've had this a long time coming and there's no one who isn't happy for you. Let me be absolutely clear. I have no problem with making an alternate. I don't. In fact, I'm thrilled. But uh...what the hell? There's 17 of us. There were 6 alternates last year and 4 the year previous to that. So again, what the hell? My problem isn't that I have to share the position with 16 other people. I'm thrilled to be involved in anyway after my half-assed audition. That's not the thing. The thing is the fact that there's 17 of us. How the crap are we going to function as a closely knit team when there's 17 of us? I'd say about 80% of us are workable. We can work together but there's at least 2 or 3 people who have the absolute potential to bring this down. This probably won't be a fun year for the alternates. It's safe to say that it won't be as fun as last year was for Castle alternates. But that's the way it goes. We're not a team anymore and God knows the alternates won't be a family of any sort and the incentive that Sheffield put out today of "Whoever's the best alternate gets their name in the program by votes" is really, really going to help in our goal of unity. So to the cast, congratulations on making it. I'm sincere when I say I hope you all have a great time doing what you do and that you can form a family in the process. You're gonna have fun. The alternates, yeah, not so much. Personally, I think it's all retribution for not wearing the Converse. Those damn Converse. And here's the quote of the entry and quite possibly the entire One Act Play: "A house divided cannot stand"

And so it is...

That's it. We're all done. We can rest in peace tonight knowing it's over and done with. There's nothing else we can do to affect the outcome of what's to appear on that sheet up paper to be posted in the future. I'm personally not banking on...anything. Alas, that's the way it goes. Molly: Thanks for staying with me in my time of desperation. With the partners and the switching and the switching of the partners. You've got a great spirit on you. Never once without the smile. Dano: Props on taking the ass-kickage like a true man. Rachael: You own everything you do and tonight was no exception. Nurse or Juliet? Nurse there's a good chance and anything else will be MFBA in your hands. Kirsten: Awww. Congrats on getting your first (but not really since it was on stage) and taking it like a pro. We all told you so. Jillian: Thanks for being so encouraging and supportive. And nice work on the breakdown. At least what I could hear between the "CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP" of the dance Jared: Friar J or Friar L? Let's see and find out. Regardless, I'll always be your little N. Kristina: Bravo on the Nurse monologue. I laughed. I was entertained. Stop with the Debbie Downer. Lauren: You can join the DD club too. Stop fishing for compliments. You know what you are. Katie: Thank you for hating me. I love you for it. What a trooper with the crutches All the other guys: Well, you can all go to hell. No, I'm just messing around. All of you did great. (Except for that one guy. Man, did he suck) What's done is done and that's the way it goes. I strongly hope (can one strongly hope?) that everyone above makes it (except for that one guy. Man, did he suck.)

...So to speak

My life has changed a lot and next to none of it is for the worse. I remember one year ago being in what I would then define as "the depths of despair" that I now define as a cocktail party joke. One year ago, it was all candyass. Now I'm playing for keeps...so to speak. Saw the talent show tonight and was indifferent to all but a handful of performances. Logue and Eggers, you owned so much tonight. As Linda and Paris respectively, that was probably the show highlight for me. Well, one of the highlights. I can't go on without tipping my hat to the beautiful rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. I was pumped. There was much pumpage. And pitch perfect comic timing Rach. You single-handedly stole the show. Much like my heart. On a numerical scale of pressure being felt over the dreaded UIL auditions, I'm at a 7.3 on a 50 point scale. I don't know what I should worry about. Actually I know of several things I should worry about. But I'll play it by ear, among other things. And is it odd that I love certain people for not loving me? A love/hate relationship, if you will. I love and she hates. Sometimes nothing gets men hotter than a "Get the hell away from me". Take it from a guy who's had several restraining orders in his day. "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil who is standing center stage advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours."

And so it begins...

I was thinking about my quote the other day, and indeed self-deprecation is the appetizer of charm. My problem is that I've been serving it as the main course. I'm gonna try to stop doing that. And there was much panicking over UIL. Though I have to say that it would indeed suck to be a girl at this particular moment in time. Vicious, vicious competition. Ah, the heartbreaking and crying we're all gonna be enduring throughout the coming week. What are my predictions for the leads? Yeah, not gonna say. At least, not gonna type it. It's so hilarious how everyone was all "OMG! OMG! Kissing! I'm gonna die!" when there's only going to be 6 people in totally going with the smoochies at auditions. Making or not making this show is not a matter of life and death. Well, actually it is. You will fall down and die if you don't make this show. It's true. Naw, but I don't know. Name for me one guy who's trying out who can actually bring themselves to tears. I can. Rhys. No, wait a minute... Everyone's so thrilled that he's not trying out. And to be fair, yes, now that he's not in it it's a whole new ball game. I don't know if we should be taking such delight in it. To those dying for roles of the lead or main variety, keep in mind the quote of the entry. You'll have to at least google it unless you have a basic understanding of the Latin language but it's worth it. “Quando dio, ole castigarci ci manda, quello che desideriamo.”

Ah yes

The magic words of the day were that of Romeo & Juliet. Right under our noses. And Jim Rome? Come on! (I'm not gonna lie to you, he's a wickedly funny man. I love the way he talks.) I recieved a CD in the mail today called "Yo-Yo Ma Plays Ennio Morricone" and I simply have to say this: Yo-Yo Ma owns. He quite simply owns. Him with Ennio Morricone is a just about perfect marriage of composer and musician if you ask me. The next nine days will be brutal for some. Well, brutal for all really. After the brain-racking of Sheffield's awesome minds puzzles now comes the nerve-racking of auditions. And the smoochies. R&J potents are gonna get some smoochies. Fun stuff indeed. And I just read that whole "You're my guys now" entry and I have to say, I truly apologize for the absolute "Awww"ness and fluffy bunnies feeling it may have conjured. I'm gonna try to stay away from those kinds of entries from now on.

"Self-deprecation is the appetizer of charm"

I'm a fan of self-deprecation. I love it. Sometimes I take it too far and it becomes insecurity and self-loathing but when kept light it can be charming. I need to find the happy medium for that. Don't anyone get worried about me but I was thinking the other day how if I, or anyone really, died either by random death or suicide but left behind several videos that I made before I took the bullet. Like, if I left a video that said "PLAY AT FUNERAL" and I was on it saying "Hi. If you're watching this I'm dead right now. I'm sorry that I've left some of you sad (or happy. If you're smart)." and such. Something really matter-of-fact and funny. And then I'd have individual DVDs to give out to my friends. They'd have your names on them and when you played them they'd have a specific message for you. Like it'd say, well, I don't want to name names but it'd say someone's name on it and when you played it I'd be like "Hey there. So I'm dead. Kinda sucks huh? Well I think you're awesome because of this and this and this. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. Dead guy here. So whenever you're feeling like you can't pursue that which you feel you need to, remember that there once was a time when I believed that you were strong enough to do it and if I leave behind a legacy of any sort, let it be that I encouraged you to do what you wanted with your life and that you lived life to your life to the utmost. If not for yourself then for me. I took my love for you to the grave and I hope you'll do the same. I love you." I think that would be such a great gift to recieve. I'm just sayin'...

"Very occasionally, if you really pay attention, life doesn't suck"

It's times like these, it's nights like these, that make me feel life doesn't suck. Among other things, tonight was glorious. And it's not so much the play. I'm been lost for quite a while. Having considered all the variables that transpired and all the things that lined up just the right way, right now I'm almost 100% convinced I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. There's no other way to put it. I like my life right now. I like where I am and I love the people I'm with (although I'm pretty sure that's not a two way street with most if you know what I'm saying). Not to get all hugs and fluffy bunnies on everyone but if I die tomorrow I will have died feeling pretty good knowing that there once was a time in which I had a family from a family and for that I am eternally grateful. You're my guys now and I don't know where I'd be without you. Or it's quite possible that I've misinterpreted everything and you all hate me. "He thinks we're his guys? Stupid Greg."

The Official TAAP Annoucment

We didn't nail it tonight. Not to suggest that the audience didn't love what we did. We didn't nail it but we were all somewhere in the vicinity of the zone. It's moving day baby and tomorrow we're gonna be money. All of us. And remember, there is no better or worse play. We're all awesome so let's save the backstabbing, friendship-destroying, vicious competition for UIL alright? And now for the offical annoucement: I invite you one and all to TAAP. Pronouced Tee Double Ay Pee standing for the Totally Awesome Alias Party. It starts on Sunday night and spills into Monday morning. It'll be back to back non-stop action-packed episodes of Alias. So far I can count the guest list on my right hand so come and if you're already coming, recruit some more to come as most don't take me seriously "Alias party? What? I don't even like you! Stupid Greg!" To whom it may concern: After our little conversation as to what consitutes sexiness, 6.5. Let's keep it climbing. I heard this quote today in a movie called "Wit". The movie was really heartbreaking and I reccomend it all to you. You may recognize the quote from a certain play. "May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest"

Remember that diagram I said I needed a while back? The one with the lines and the arrows? Yeah, I still need it. I got the movie "Wit" yesterday in the mail from Blockbuster Online. I started watching it and so far it's money. It's films like these that make me wonder why more movies can't be this articulate and thought-provoking. Movies that are good for you but not really. Joss Whedon defined the kind of movies he wanted to make by saying he wanted to make a movie that was saying something but was so entertaining that you didn't notice. We need more ideas in our cinema. I've got nothing against the brain-turner-offers but from time to time we need wake up movies like this. "Brevity is the soul of wit"

Loner?

You scored as Loner. Loner 69% Drama nerd 56% Goth 44% Geek 38% Punk/Rebel 31% Ghetto gangsta 31% Prep/Jock/Cheerleader 25% Stoner 25% What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com

And I was really shooting for drama nerd. Alas, that's the way it goes. It reminds me of a limerick I once helped write. It was like 2:30 in the morning so it took about four of us: When you're with Joaner You're never a loner And when it's all over There's no need to phone her

"I would do anything for you Ms. Galinda"

Hooters, while not exactly being the prize winning model of a sophisticated restaurant, has good hot wings. They're hot and delicious as, by the way, am I. Pulpit: I was reading a story about Andrea Yates and how they're going back into to trial because a false testimony. The man who testified said that perhaps Yates got the idea from an episode of Law & Order in which a woman drowns her own children when such an episode of L&O does not exist. So perhaps now the retrial will get Ms. Yates a lesser sentence if she is found guilty of the crime because of a "severe mental illness". Who else thinks that the straws they're grasping on here are so thin that they'd break if you blew on them? What makes it so hard to allow for possibility that from time to time we have to acknowledge that evil exists in our world? This is PC crap. Friday was a fun night with the Life and the Aquatic and the Life Aquatic. Bizzare, bizzare movie but Portugese black David Bowie music made it worth it. Myself and Melissa had a swell old time and I suggest we do it more. My quote of the entry is also the title of the entry. It's from the song "Dancing Through Life" from the musical Wicked which I strongly urge anyone who's ears haven't been graced by it's magnificence to listen to it before you die. It's some of the most amazing music I've ever heard. Stephen Schwartz and Kristin Chenoweth own me. They own all of us really. The quote showcases the innocious qualities I find compelling concerning everyone's favorite song, poetry, anything subject: love. Of course he would do anything for her. It's classic. Being blinded by anything but the desire to do whatever you can to the other person to lift them up above yourself. A once said that true love was the realization that someone else besides yourself exists in this life. Actually I honestly have no idea what I'm talking about. I really couldn't and I know most reading probably couldn't either. But tell you what, I'll let you know when I find it. I just signed up for this blockbuster online thing. It's like Netflix but cheaper. I'm gonna try it out for two weeks and see if I like it and right now I'm open to reccomendations for movies you think I may like.

What happens

Ever stop and notice? Pay close attention because from time to time, life doesn't suck. That's only if you're paying really close attention. Most of us let it pass us by because we're too concerned with our own enjoyment. Yeah, I don't know where I'm going with this. Suffice it to say, from time to time life doesn't suck. That's from time to time. Most of the time is sucks hard. But let's talk shop. I changed my icon again. The other one wasn't working....my life is exciting. Um...yeah. Today we performed all three one acts back to back. I think we're in pretty good shape for the most part. The worst of though is the fact that a lot of the humor derives from references that the audience will almost surely not understand. I think everyone's bringing their A-game the best they can though. Hamlet kind of blows (because I'm in it) but confidence tells me we'll get better.

Ever get the feeling...

Ever get the feeling no one's in it for anything else but themselves? Or how 'bout the one in which you think the friends you think are your friends really aren't all that much? That perhaps it was a courtesy thing or manners or being polite. The idea that they genuinely gave a rat crap for anything you had to say to them or thought about them or thought about in general wasn't all that much true. Yeah, I've got some of that. And I apologize for getting all Deputy Downer on everyone yesterday. I didn't realize it was that depressing. And like everyone should, I'll try not to tell the truth as often. People don't like the truth as much as they'd like to believe they do. And my personal opinions and motivations for everything in life being dependent on what others think, I believe it's the way to go on this one. Don't tell the truth so much. But I do think that from time to time I tend to lose myself between the opinions of other people. I don't know why that is. Actually I know exactly why that is. But I'd really rather not type it out in it's naked, literal form. It's pathetic, it's embarassing, and more to the point it makes me look weak and stupid (not to suggest I'm not). Yeah, I probably shouldn't have typed those things out. Sorry 'bout that. "And in that moment, Dan was reminded once again why he wanted to write in the first place. It's for the same reason anybody does anything: to impress women."

What?

I'm out. I got nothing. Ever feel like your mind is just dry as the Sahara. That's me now. Actually not really. I just don't have the focus to put it all into clear thought. Right now I could literally tell you what I'm thinking but that's crap. Why would you be interested in that? In fact, why would you be interested in anything I have to say? If you are then you're just sad and I pity you. And then I pity me. And then I go in the corner and cry. I'm still looking for music if anyone cares? (who would) After seeing so many movies and television shows I've come to realize that comedy, most of the time, is contradiction, juxtaposition, and wordplay. Most of the worst comedy and some of the best comedy is built on those things when you come right down to it. That and the ignorance of a character. Take a show like Arrested Development for example (probably a show which none of you have seen). AD has taken the joke of double entendres and raised it into an artform. I can't even begin to talk about that. Well actually I could but you'd have no idea what I'm talking about so I'll suffice it to say that it's the funniest thing on TV right now and I'll let anyone who wants to borrow my DVDs. "...Not that there's anything wrong with that"

2005?

The clock struck 12 and everyone went "yay". And that's how my new year's eve went. Except we weren't near a clock...and most of us can't tell time anyway...and the ones who could were already dead so we only knew it was the new year and went "yay" because the big ball came down...except it was more of a horrific scream than a "yay" because most of us thought it was a comet heading towards earth to kill us all. There was a little bit of cursing out of fear too. So if you clean up the cursing and interpret the blood boiling screaming as "yay" then when the clock struck 12, everyone went "yay". I've decided for my crap new year's eve resolution that I'm not going let myself fade in the background and join the ranks of the slackers who content their lives with mind numbing self entertainment. I think I owe it to the world to do something more. I think everyone does really. There's so much to do. I don't know the last time I read a book. That's a pretty sad thought isn't it? The fact that there are compelling ideas floating out there that I haven't heard yet makes me excited to be alive and want to, for the time being, keep it that way. There's so much life. You know I don't think I've been to 1/5 of our country's states. I want to get out there. There's so much music that any of us has yet to listen to. These are the kinds of ideas that get me rather pumped. I got a couple of books for Christmas. One's a book of Presidents and another one's a "true story" kind of history book. I don't consider myself a genius even though some do and trust me, I'm not by any stretch, but the fact that I have this kind of knowledge at my fingertips is just cool. And now I kick it down a notch as I slip off the highest rung of the idealism ladder into the ground of cold reality. The fact that I have this LJ is a bit of a joke. Why should what I have to say hold any more or less water than anyone else in the world? I'm trying to figure out A) If my thoughts matter and B) Why my thoughts would matter to anyone. I will go on the record saying that I'm incredibly glad that I go to KHS and have met the people I've met and known the people I've known. You're all, here comes the girly part. You've all been a bit of a gift to me in the respect that most of the time, I'm glad I am where I am now and I like my life. I like you people and...thank you for that. My quote of the entry is the first quote I ever did but I use it again here because it's the best quote for a new year. It says so many things and it just works. "What's next?"